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God is the light in my world. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for how closer we’ve become. I will be forever grateful to Him and what He has done in my life. 

As the year is winding down, I am realizing that 2017 has been the most difficult year of my life. I have lost more relatives than I would like. My community lost several young lives who I was connected to through school or mutual friends. I switched jobs. Nick and I struggled to get pregnant all year. Then we gained our Angel Baby. To say that I’ve been depressed would be putting it simply. I’ve never been a cryer but have probably cried at least every week over the past 6 months. 

But I don’t need anyone’s pity. I’m here. I’m taking it one step at a time, one day at a time. If it wasn’t for all of this pain and heartache, I never would have strengthened my connection with God. The series of events that I’ve experienced this year should have or could have distanced me from God. With so many loved ones taken from me, one could see that I would have grounds to be pissed at God. Or turned an unbeliever. Sometimes I’m surprised that I’m not. Throughout this year of my hardest losses, I have gained a better relationship with my Holy Father. 

He has brought light and hope to me in my darkest times. He has lightened my pain by teaching me how to be grateful, when I only want to be depressed. He has illuminated the power of prayer as a way for me to heal and refocus. He has sparked a stronger and burning belief inside of me. I look to Him as a beacon of light when I need direction or am lost. He has shone a light to guide me through my difficulties. And He holds my Angels, who send light and signs for me to see.