One more conversation
I wanted to call you today Nan. I almost did. I held my phone right up, about to dial your number. I just wanted to chat. Have one of our quick calls. But I can’t call you.
I know you can hear me talk to you. I don’t have to say anything. You hear my prayers, my heart. You even know the message behind my smiles and tears. I know you see what’s going on down here. You’ll always be here.
I just wish that we could talk. One more time. There’s something about you that I never got to know. You lost a baby like me. But that’s all I know. What happened? How did you know? And what did you feel? I really wish I could hear how you made it through. I think it would really help me right now.
It’s pretty obvious why I never knew this. It was never like you to talk about the negative all the time. You lost so much but you always shared your happy and funny memories. I miss your laugh. You would clap your hands together while you reminisced. We also wouldn’t have had anything come up that would bring about that conversation of your miscarriage. Mine hadn’t happened. It is never anything that I would have thought about. I just wish we could have talked about it. We will have a lot of catching up to do when we meet again.
I wish you were here now to give me one of your hugs. You’d hold my hand and tell me everything will be okay.