Six months since
It’s been six months without our first baby. I can’t believe that much time has gone by. Half a year.
It might not seem like a lot, but when that level of grief and depression gets ahold of you, time stops. You beg and pray for the rough days to be over but they insist on dragging out. Dragging you out.
I think of all the milestones and moments that I should be experiencing as a pregnant mom. I’m missing them. I didn’t get to. I don’t get to. I won’t get to.
And we still aren’t pregnant. Six months of trying to conceive again. I don’t know why I’m surprised. It took us over a year to make our angel. It’s going to take us awhile. Plain as truth. Pain in this truth. Every month gets harder as we struggle further to make another baby.
But every month also gets easier as the grasp of grief releases on my life. So we keep on.
One day at a time got us through these past six months. It is all I can do.